Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
