Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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