In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
