I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
