Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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