Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
