if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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