Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
