Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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