Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
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