They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
