There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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