But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
