Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So much rum. So many feels.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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