Im at strip club and am horny
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
