I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
