i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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