I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
When did angry sex become our thing?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
