Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
