Moan for me like Helen Keller
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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