She is in my trunk
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
