Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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