i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
