I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Randomize
