My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
