god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
