He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
