I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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