Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
