Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
