nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Dicks are not precious.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
