Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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