Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
