I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
