i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
