Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
