Me too!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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