New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
