I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i jhust puked up my retainher.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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