My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
