May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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