absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
