do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
