the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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