If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
