Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
