You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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