He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
im on a boat
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