How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
