Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
