I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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