no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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